Favorite Holiday Thoughts, Quotes, Jokes, etc. etc. etc.

[Carol P.]

I'll start with a quote from Johnny Carson......

"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other." ~ Johnny Carson   

[valhalla]

Rush Limbaugh:  Irony is your brand-new Christmas gift of a Cadillac going over the cliff....
     Your Mother-in-Law is driving it!   

[Donna]

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ~Shirley Temple

[Donna]

Christmas Pun Punch-line

Entering Heaven Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's glasses.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carol's.